the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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