flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
