Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
