I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
