Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
