Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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