After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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