he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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