And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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