he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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