So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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