Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
