we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
