you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
it's like iHOP with fire
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
