Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
