i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
