went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
