I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
