it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
