Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
