dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
