he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
