i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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