So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
