I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
