I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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