Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
its liver damage thursday
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
