Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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