i just google imaged poop.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
