Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
