I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
