I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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