Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
