So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
