the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
