You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
