So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize