she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
