everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
