the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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