so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My bed smells like the plague
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
