I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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