What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize