i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
