Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Please don't give away my fajitas
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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