How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
