That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
