its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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