you guys were way drunker than both of me
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
