Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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