I love black thongs
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
tell me about the fingering
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