It's like God shit irony all over that family
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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