is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
