Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize