Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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