Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
