Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
