See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
