This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
