We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
