i barfeds in our rink
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
