how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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