Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
