Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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