Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
