you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
