I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
