Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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