I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
