after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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