Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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