we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
