Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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