More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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