You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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