Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
