I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
