i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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