I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
