Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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