i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
