She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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